and we can do it to eachother. (rusticdoll) wrote in whisperedwords,
and we can do it to eachother.

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Here I am...

An imagination that is unweary to this heart and only something I can reach out and touch. Your words meant nothing to me as I slashed his name into my skin. This is where we begin. I know how much you do not know about me or anything about this crippled mind but relax baby it will be over soon. My crimson literature will no longer be thrown onto your doorstep. You will no longer trip over my eagerness crawling on the floor towards you. It's just a distraction. How much I wish to always remember the way your eyes settled on a certain object everytime we threw back and forth cruel words. Up and down we shouted to eachother. Wishful thinking my dear only got us tied up in knots. No more of anything tonight. Just sing me to sleep my sweet. Sing until my brain swells with love and passion. Kiss my head as I die tonight. Lay down beside me. Don't ask me the question you've been hopeing I would answer. Cause I will never tell again until you say that you love me. Secrets will be kept locked inside and I will hide under this bed until I choke from dust balls.
I am still waiting.
For something.
Anything to roll off your lips.
Into my ears.
"Go die!" he says.
What then.
Would you cry for me and lay on my grave and tell me things you would tell no other.
Would you finally admit that you loved me.
My imagination is unweary of your touch.
This love is broken in two and I am nothing without you.

My stomach is growing inches beyond inches of regret. This day, there is nothign left but crumbs and traces of tears. Did I surprise you when I said all those things. Did you think that I was something different. Another girl to take innocently. Take my innocence. I gave you a piece of me that I can never get back and you run with it like a bastard in heat. You only wanted one thing from me. And you got it so now you are gone. Deprived my little child. So deprived you cry out loud. Well the moon is waiting for you now. He is smiling down at you. What a bad boy you have been. Rot up there with that dark moon. Rot and die. I heard it is hard to breathe so far away from the earth. Will you relearn how to eat. How to rock yourself to sleep.

I gently move back and forth. My arms are cold without you. And I rub them swiftly to get some heat. A little less sleep is fine by me. Less time for me to dream of you. Less time for me to want you. See when I am awake and all the pills are floating in front of my face I smile because that means I do not need to think of you. I keep writing and writing until my hands fall off just to get it all out. A little self doubt I know. Another will come along to claim it's territory. Another will bow down for a piece of ass. A piece of my sanity. They are all running away with it like fools in a parade. Showing off their accomplishments. I pray you all drown in your self pity. I wish some letters didn't belong in the alphabet. Then I could write more peacefully. I could cut my hair every month to only get rid of these, l-o-n-e-l-y....
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