I am still waiting.
Anything to roll off your lips.
Into my ears.
"Go die!" he says.
Would you cry for me and lay on my grave and tell me things you would tell no other.
Would you finally admit that you loved me.
My imagination is unweary of your touch.
This love is broken in two and I am nothing without you.
My stomach is growing inches beyond inches of regret. This day, there is nothign left but crumbs and traces of tears. Did I surprise you when I said all those things. Did you think that I was something different. Another girl to take innocently. Take my innocence. I gave you a piece of me that I can never get back and you run with it like a bastard in heat. You only wanted one thing from me. And you got it so now you are gone. Deprived my little child. So deprived you cry out loud. Well the moon is waiting for you now. He is smiling down at you. What a bad boy you have been. Rot up there with that dark moon. Rot and die. I heard it is hard to breathe so far away from the earth. Will you relearn how to eat. How to rock yourself to sleep.
I gently move back and forth. My arms are cold without you. And I rub them swiftly to get some heat. A little less sleep is fine by me. Less time for me to dream of you. Less time for me to want you. See when I am awake and all the pills are floating in front of my face I smile because that means I do not need to think of you. I keep writing and writing until my hands fall off just to get it all out. A little self doubt I know. Another will come along to claim it's territory. Another will bow down for a piece of ass. A piece of my sanity. They are all running away with it like fools in a parade. Showing off their accomplishments. I pray you all drown in your self pity. I wish some letters didn't belong in the alphabet. Then I could write more peacefully. I could cut my hair every month to only get rid of these, l-o-n-e-l-y....